Birth Prep Classes

If you follow me on Facebook you may have seen that we have been looking into birth prep classes.

Yes, yes. I know I've already given birth once, I should know what I'm doing, blah blah blah.

Here is how I see it.

You cannot be too prepared for birthing your baby

Just my humble opinion on the subject matter. However, us personally... well we could use the refresher.

See.... when I was pregnant with Turtle-Love we took some birth classes offered through the hospital we were using. The classes were actually amazing. They were taught by a local doula who was also an OB nurse, with two natural births under her own belt - one outside of the country while her family was on some type of mission? To be honest those details are hazey... We went over not only the basic information of how birth happens, but the hospitals policies, how to get what you want from them, and several coping and relaxation techniques - the class was designed with natural birth in mind. We learned a ton and felt fairly prepared. I had also done some light reading about ideas for labor, and we constructed a birth plan.

Que in the unforeseen issues..... like our house foreclosing. Which lead to us moving. Which was when we realized there was no way  we were moving out of a substantially sized house I had lived in for 10+ years of my life and into something much smaller and in our price range. With a giant dog. Oh yeah.... we also had to be out a month before my due date. Anyone wanna guess what happened next? No? Oh.. its okay.. I'll tell you.

I of course went into labor a couple days before our move out deadline, while we were in a mad rush to get moved into a place we finally found with less than a third of the square footage we were used to because we recently with a stroke of luck found the place, qualified for it, and signed the dang lease. I had also jinxed myself because it snowed the night before and I stupidly made a comment about how Turtle-Love would come now just because of the weather. -_________- (That is a very unamused face in case you were wondering). 

And so, we of course ended up going to the hospital after waking up in a giant pool of liquid which we determined was my water that had broken. We left sans anything we meant to take with us. I had no bag packed, we forgot the birth plan or anything else for that matter, I was in my dang pajamas with messy hair, leaking fluid with every little wiggle, and wondering if that slight tingle in my mid section was my first contraction. Skip to the hospital where we were told we might be there for weeks before the baby is actually born... blah blah blah.... and ... drum roll please....
I sent my husband home.

Yep. Idiot.... a long story kind of shortened ... Toad missed all of my labor, which was super fast. I got lost in what was happening and forgot most of my coping techniques, but at least I had my sister! Who has never been pregnant or attended a birth class, ever. No worries, she did well. The birth went well aside from the being 5 weeks early part and somethings that go with that ... yada yada..... SO. Because of all that, and I like to keep my self informed, and... HELLLOOOOO that was over 2 years ago.... we are taking another class.

We tried for the same class, because we liked it. But of course by the time we got our schedules together the class was booked. I started doing research online to find a class that would work for us. I created a birth board on Pinterest even! It was after a few pins and a recommendation from one of my Facebook page followers (and hopeful readers, lol) that I reached out to Birth Boot Camp.

Their program seems amazing. Check them out HERE <-- That would be my affiliate link :-)
We are doing the online course. We don't live anywhere near any of the current in-person classes, but because their program includes videos I think we will do really well with it. You get access to all of the information for 3 months, including being able to chat with them whenever about whatever comes up along the way. BONUS... I found this blog post by Mama Birth that got me an awesome discount! All pregnant bloggers.. check that out! SO.. what this all means is we are going to be awesomely educated, well prepared for birth, and you guys get to read my review when it is all said and done with! I'll likely blog along the way too :-)

Planning for our second birth

I've seen this blog post making the rounds on the Facebook pages I follow the past couple days.

Five Ways to Prepare for Natural Birth in a Hospital

Initially I was just going to share it on my own Facebook page, but when I went to type my own little remark about it I realized I was writing several paragraphs. And so... this blog post was born, naturally. (bahahahahahaha, funny!)

Turtle-Love was a natural hospital birth. I'm certain that I've written his birth story - but I'm pretty sure it has not been published here. That is on my to-do list in the next couple weeks. Anyhow, I've never wanted any birth other than a non-medicated vaginal delivery. At the very most basic of planning, that has always been it. The details of shots and goop and interventions and cord cutting and the labor and the delivery positions and whatever else were always extras, extras I hadn't ever considered until becoming pregnant. Even as a child playing doctor though, I delivered my babies as naturally as one can with a stuffed animal tucked under your t-shirt - au-natural.

Turtle-Love's birth was a bit more complicated than I hoped it would be. Being 5 weeks early will do that. We forgot our birth plan, which we had only just finished. Toad (the hubz) missed the majority of my labor (saving the details for the birth story people) and only arrived in time for the actual delivery. I was on IV antibiotics because my strep test hadn't come back yet, and my labor progressed much faster than the doctors and nurses thought it would. I went from broken water (it broke at home - which is why we went in) and no contractions to delivering my baby in about 8 hours. Just 3 days before at my prenatal exam I had a soft cervix, but the baby was high and I was not at all dilated. As I had hoped, I was able to labor and birth without pain medications and delivered my child vaginally - without tearing even, and in just one push. Though, I'm pretty sure I had been ready to push for a few contractions at the least. Even though Toad was absent for my labor, he made it for the birth and my little sister did a great job of helping me during labor.

Anyhow - the point of all this is....
We are planning another natural hospital birth.

I had really really wanted to deliver our second child at a birth center, attended by a midwife and have a doula present to help with labor. I looked into the birth center we have here - and it is a fantastic facility. One I was really excited about using! However, Neither Toad nor myself have insurance. Turtle-Love and I are receiving medical assistance through FAMIS. It is like medicaid but you have a co-pay, we didn't qualify for medicaid this time because we are married. At least I assume that is why because our income hasn't changed since our last pregnancy and birth, which I received medicaid coverage for. Anyhow, the birth center doesn't take FAMIS and we couldn't afford the expense out of pocket. I tried to come up with ways that we could afford it, but it never really worked out in my favor. So, we - or rather I, because this is my body and Toad supports that - decided to go back to the same OB office, through which we would deliver at the hospital.

There was another big factor in this decision though, and that is the possibility of delivering early again. The birth center wont let you deliver there unless you are at least 36 weeks. I delivered Turtle-Love at 35 weeks, and there is a chance I could deliver earlier this time around. I don't know the percentage of that potentially happening but it is a reality I have to face. As it stands the hospital we are using will not allow you to deliver there unless you have reached at least 34 weeks. If I go into labor prior to 34 weeks, I'll have to go to the other hospital in town. Don't get me wrong - that hospital is great! In fact, Turtle-Love was transferred to their amazing NICU the day after he was born, and stayed there for close to 2 weeks. I have plenty of friends who have delivered there and very few of them have poor things to say. But it is a teaching hospital meaning there would be multiple medical students present. The hospital we are planning to use is a private facility and is known to be natural birth friendly.

And so... we are planning a natural hospital birth.

We are taking a number of steps to get ready for this go round. In fact, all five of the steps listed in the above blog post at Natural Parents Network.

We are educating ourselves. I have researched and pinned a ton of things onto a "Birth board" on Pinterest - let me know if you want a link! Of course I'm looking at multiple resources, books, websites, videos, etc. Hubz and I started watch The Business of Being Born last night and will continue it tonight.

I know that while someone attending our birth may have an opinion that differs from mine, I don't necessarily need to make waves about it. If it isn't effecting my care, or support, or myself or my child - that person's opinion is just an opinion and nothing more. Anything more than that and I know it is MY CHOICE. I will be at a facility that is working for me. These doctors and nurses will be working for me and my baby. If at anytime I'm not comfortable with them, I can request new care attendants.

We are making a birth plan - and having it handy in multiple formats. Including, a quick and concise version that fits on a dang index card for quick reference. Have you guys seen these? I found them both on Pinterest... PS I ♥ Plus Size Birth and Plus Size Mommy Memoirs

This is on the PSMM Facebook page as well as their Pinterest

I'm not sure where this one came from at all, but I found it on Pinterest

I have a fantastic support team. Every single one of them knows what I want, and how badly I want it, and are learning how to help me advocate for it when the time comes. ♥

We are also going to be taking a child birth prep course. I'll tell you which one very soon! Some people think this is silly because we have done this already - classes and actually birthing of a child - but I think it is important to learn as much as possible and have a refresher course. After all, I gave birth over 2 years ago now. You cannot be too prepared for birth.

Progesterone....

My OB just called. Last week I had an appointment with her (16 week check up and all) and we agreed to have my progesterone levels checked, as the head OB wants me to receive Progesterone injections.  My progesterone levels are normal, but after talking with the head OB for the practice they decided that they are not really indicative of whether or not I will deliver early again, and they are recommending I begin progesterone injections. I'm not against this (as of right now), I just want to make an informed decision...

Some background...
My son is turning 2 tomorrow. (Holy freaking COW!) I delivered him at 35 weeks and a couple days, after my water broke spontaneously in the night, starting my labor. (zero contractions prior to water breaking) He was delivered 8 hours later, and spent 12 days in the NICU with breathing issues. I had no factors that indicated I would deliver early, I had a completely healthy and normal pregnancy. The only potential factors would be stress (our home foreclosed, I delivered 2 days before we were supposed to be out) and he was born with a lung infection - unknown if labor was caused by the infection or if the infection was caused by the rather quick labor.

I'm currently 17 (nearly 18) weeks pregnant with our second child. My OB is suggesting that I start progesterone injections, and mentioned there was a study conducted that clearly showed the benefits of progesterone injections, usually started at 16 weeks, in preventing preterm labor in subsequent pregnancies - I had asked for literature on the subject to help with my informed decision. I'm currently looking for this study, she could not recall the name off hand. The shot used is called 17 hydroxy progesterone. She is recommending that I choose to take the injections, and that if she had previously delivered early she would take them hands down. She says they do not hurt the baby. She is supportive and understanding of me wanting to do my own research to come to an informed decision before moving forward.

Alternatively I can choose to have my cervical length checked routinely starting at 28 weeks, and begin vaginal progesterone at that point (I believe if needed, but potentially regardless of the outcomes - it was not clear during the conversation).

Of course, there is also the option to not take the progesterone.

I'm wanting to find out if there are any side effects to the progesterone injections, and if they can harm the baby or Turtle-Love since he is still nursing. I also want to find out the pros and cons of waiting and having my cervical length routinely checked....

Let the research begin!

How I reacted to attachment parenting on the Today show

I logged in to Facebook this morning and immediately saw a status update from one of my best friends..

" Attachment parenting on the Today show now.. "

Unfortunately I'm at work, and the status was posted an hour prior to when I saw it. Though I had a feeling what they would be talking about, with the most recent cover of Time magazine that just came out, and their article on attachment parenting. I went and commented on how I missed the show, but that I hadn't heard great things about the magazine coverage and that a fellow blogger that I read was in the spread! Then I noticed a comment on my friends status...

"I'm all for breast feeding but at 3 years old?!, there are better ways to form a strong bond with your child."

Immediately, I knew I had something to say. I thought about my words, and chose them carefully. I couldn't NOT respond, because I felt there was an opportunity to share the information I've gathered as well as my own opinion. I didn't want my comment to be seen negatively so I tried my best to be factual while stating my opinion in a non-pushy way...

"I don't see a problem with extended breast feeding personally. The average weaning age internationally is actually around 4 years old, so 3 is more than acceptable. Breast milk never loses it's benefits, after all it was specifically designed to nourish the child and continues to change with their needs. As long as the breast feeding relationship is positive I don't see an issue. Sure, there are other ways to bond with your child - but I enjoy the one on one time I get with my 17 month old son while we nurse. Also, I'm personally happy knowing that if my son gets a stomach bug or if for any other reason he is unable to hold down food, by still nursing him I can ensure that he will receive enough nutrients to keep him strong, he will continue to receive the antibodies I'm building up against illness, and he will be less likely to dehydrate while sick as long as he nurses. We will continue to maintain a breastfeeding relationship for as long as it remains positive and my son decides to self wean. That could be tomorrow or two years from now and either way is okay for our family. Everyone has their own opinion of course, and different things work well for different families. To each their own :-)"

How do you think I handled it? Not bad right? At least I hope.

Soon after posting that reply it occurred to me I might be asking for trouble - or causing drama on my friends page. So I started worrying, and mentally preparing a private message or text to her apologizing for causing problems... Instead I get a notification that she (my friend) commented on her status as well. It reads...

"‎Samantha - do a blog on this TODAY!"

Haha! I should have known! Nicole is my own personal cheerleader when it comes to my blog. In fact, she just finished organizing a planner for me - complete with blog topic suggestions and reminders to actually blog. I should have known that would be her response! And so... here I am. Blogging about it.

...and still mentally preparing the apology that may be necessary for causing trouble on her page, just in case...

I located the piece on Attachment Parenting by the Today Show. You can watch it here ---> http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/47385461#47385461

Once I started watching I had so many internal comments I had to pause, pull up my blog page, and prepare to take notes. So, lets begin this together...

Note: The quotes I provide were pulled right off the transcript provided by the video clip

I do agree that attachment parenting can seem overwhelming before you get started - or if you are an outsider looking in. However, for me most of it just seems like the natural, easy, and right thing to do. I'm still learning as I go, and I certainly am not an expert on attachment parenting. Not even close. In fact, while I was pregnant I claimed I would never put my baby in bed with me. Umm, yeah I changed my mind. At 17 months old, he has been sleeping with us since month 1.

I do not agree that attachment parenting is the new extreme in raising a baby - most likely because I do not see it as extreme at all, but I could understand how someone else might.

I do not agree that attachment parenting makes things more complicated <-- perhaps I miss understood her statement? If anything attachment parenting has made my life more simple. I wont get into that right now, this is specifically a discussion on the news coverage and how I feel about it. This particular snipit, really bugs me, they are referring to Dr. Sears

...his 1992 "the baby book" put a heavy emphasis on a mother devoting extraordinary time and energy to her baby. For some it raises a red flag.

Umm, what? I'm pretty sure nearly every mother, attachment parenting or not, puts extraordinary time and energy into her baby. That is her child. She is responsible for raising the baby. You can't just sit the baby in a corner and hope for the freaking best. You. Raise. The. Baby. You care for the baby. And raising and caring for a child is absolutely extraordinary, it absolutely takes a deep devotion of time, and energy. Regardless of the parenting style you feel you align with (or not).

The word training is mentioned in regard to 'training' the child for the real world. I just want to go on record here saying that I've come to dislike the word 'training' as it pertains to children. We teach, we encourage, we show, we suggest, we explain, we provide insight. We try to help them learn and grow, and in the process we do too.

The woman speaking at that point mentions it isn't good to let the child believe the whole world revolves around them, because the whole world doesn't revolve around anybody. And I agree. However,

you had better believe and understand just as my son does that MY whole world does revolve around him. And he can always expect that. As can any future children we may have. Can you not agree that your child(ren) are the center of your life?

I love that Dr. Sears repeatedly brings up balance. He is right - it (attachment parenting) is not extreme. If you balance your needs and your child's needs you will all be happy. All of life is about balance people!
I feel like the interviews went well. I could see how the reporter (Savannah?) was trying to stir up trouble (is that not her job? You can't fault her for it..) and that Dr. Sears, Jaime, and Jeffrey Kluger from Time Magazine handled the discussion and questions well.

There have been other comments on the Facebook status that I mentioned above, from a different person. The responses basically state that extended breastfeeding does not occur in Europe (ummm...) specifically in Poland. Also that responding to your child's every cry makes them a sissy. Also that the person 'tells the world how it is' and other people 'take things so personally'.

My responses...

#1
The international average as in taking the average year from each country, globally, and finding the most common age that weaning occurs. Now that I have explained it this way, the word 'average' is misleading, and for that I apologize. And there are plenty of women in European countries who breastfeed past the first year of life.

There is also a difference between responding to your child's needs and cries (attachment parenting) and doting on their every whim (permissive parenting). My son, while young, understands that he does not get everything he wants if that is what you are thinking responding to their cries means. As a mother who does practice many attachment parenting principals, when my son cries I respond to his cries differently, depending on what he needs. Because of my strong bond with him, it isn't hard to figure out. He doesn't have all of the language or understanding to express how he feels yet because he is still growing and learning what these feelings are. So, for example, if he throws a fit because I told him no I'm not going to walk away from him or expect him to stop screaming just because he is told to. I'm going to talk to him, and ask him to tell me what he needs. And even at just 17 months this works really well. And if he was told he can't have the remote and he tells me that is what he wants, he still doesn't get it. Instead I will provide him with an alternative and we will go from there.

Responding to his needs has not made him a sissy. I think Nicole can vouche for that ;-) as she babysit my son during the week. I also do not believe it will make him one. Being a 'sissy' also wont make me love him any less or treat him any differently - it will only mean I have to help him cope and understand the world around him, which it is my job as his mother to do anyways, regardless of my parenting style choice. I understand you (and many others) may have a different opinion on all of this, and I respect that.

I actually found this blog post about an hour ago that helps to explain attachment parenting to someone who doesn't quite know or really understand what it is. I hope that anyone who is curious will read it.
http://thegoodletdown.blogspot.com/2011/03/guide-to-understanding-attachment.html"

There are so many other things I would like to point out - about how Dr. Sears specifically mentions that he has yet to meet an attachment parent with a child who is a school bully. Which is great! But does this person believe that anyone who is not a bully is a sissy? It is hard to say. I would hope not. I hope to raise my child with balance and that he will be confident enough in himself that he neither feel the need to bully others or take abuse from someone else.

#2

I am glad that you feel that your child is growing and handling the world so well. I truly am, and I hope that your relationship with her continues to go as well as you want and that she flourishes in every way.

You are right, the numbers show that in Poland the number of women breastfeeding for the first 6 months continuing to breastfeed past 6 months is 10%. However, In other countries in Europe such as Sweden, at 53%, Norway at 50%, it is most likely more common. I realize that is just 'after 6 months' and does not specifically mention toddlers, but I can see where you are coming from as far as this 'not being the norm'. (numbers from kellymom.com who sites a reputable study) I know there are women I interact with on a daily basis outside of the United States that are breast feeding toddlers, so it does happen. Can I say specifically in Poland? No, but I can't say it absolutely does not happen either.

Just because something isn't the societal norm doesn't make it bad.

I have the right to make a decision on how I should best care for my child. Based on my child's needs, and the way I feel I should respond to him. Just as you have a right and the ability to raise your child differently. Does that make your child better than mine, or mine better than yours? Absolutely not. Does that make you a better parent, or me a better parent? Not in my opinion. It just means we have made different choices. I assume we are all after the same thing in raising our children. We want the to grow well, to prosper, to be caring, successful, and above all happy. However you feel is best to get your baby to that place, so be it. Different people make different choices and I'll stand behind that every time.

Because I respond to my sons every cry does not mean that he will need to hold my hand through all of life. In fact he is already quite independent for his age. He doesn't always need me. He doesn't even always want me. But every time he cries, I respond appropriately in a way that will encourage him to learn and understand him self and the world around him. I don't walk behind him constantly kissing his boo-boos, covering him in bubble wrap, or preventing him from truly experiencing the world around him. He is caring while strong. He is opinionated (already, yeesh!) and very much his own person, but loves to spend time with other people getting cuddles and hugs and kisses, or dancing like a fool. He is so happy and well rounded and generally a delightful little guy to be around, there is nothing anyone could say to me that would lead me to believe I am doing something wrong. Just as I would assume you feel the same about how you raise your child.

And so you know, I am not taking this discussion personally. I find this to be a healthy debate!





I'm sure I'll continue to have other interactions throughout the day, be on this particular post or others, regarding this issue.

Has anyone been questioning (or even attacking) your parenting principles lately?