The Big Boy Bed Adventures: Night 5

We have been putting Turtle-Love in his own bed for the past five nights. Errr, well okay actually night 4 no one slept in a bed. We all fell asleep in the living room after a very very busy and enjoyable Easter Day. I happened to wake up just in time to get around for work Monday morning, thank goodness. Toad put Turtle-Love in bed with him since it was already morning. I'm not sure how much longer they slept but I'm sure it wasn't too long. So... the past 4 of 5 nights Turtle-Love has been put in his bed. As well as spending nap time in his bed rather than the couch.

It has been going great! His naps are slightly shorter than if I were to hold him, of course. If I hold him while he naps he will sleep for hours. On the couch, he sleeps 1-2 hours, and in his bed he has also been sleeping 1-2 hours. Yesterday his nap time was a little shorter than it could have been, as he woke himself up when his diaper leaked. (He was in a disposable by the way, just throwing that out there...) So we changed the sheets on his bed and our bed last night. We all got showers so we could enjoy clean sheets with clean bodies. Is that not one of the best feelings ever?? I love it! Turtle-Love and Toad took their shower together, as per the usual. When it was time to take my shower Toad made the beds up with Turtle-Love's help. By the time I got out of the shower, Turtle-Love was asleep, in his bed. Toad then informed me how this happened....

Toad finished making up Turtle-Love's bed while Turtle-Love sat at the foot of our bed, snuggling a fleece sheet and sitting on top of my husband pillow(those chair-like pillows, the kinds with backs and arms...). When Toad finished with Turtle-Love's bed he told Turtle-Love he needed to move so he could make our bed. He suggested Turtle-Love sit in his bed and watch, to which he Turtle-Love agreed. Toad reminded him a minute later it was okay to lay down, Turtle-Love said "Oh" and laid down. He got a little frustrated because he couldn't get the sheets up just right so Toad helped to cover him up, and a minute or so later the kid was out. Just like that.

My big boy! Falling asleep all on his own, in his own bed!

Turtle-Love did wake up last night. He didn't get out of the bed though, he was more half-asleep and fussy. I checked to make sure his diaper hadn't leaked and had Daddy cover him back up (per Turtle-Love's request that "Daddy do it") and then "shhhhhhhhhh"d him back to sleep. That was actually at 6am this morning. He was stirring a little again when I got up for work a bit later. He called out "Mommy? Mommy!" with his eyes shut, like he was just looking for me and couldn't feel me in the bed. I spoke to him and let him know I was right there and he went right back to sleep. When I was leaving for work he was still sleeping just fine, he and his daddy would be waking up about 45 minutes later anyhow.

So - this transition thing so far has been a breeze. I slept incredibly well last night. Partly from the awesomeness that is fresh clean sheets and a clean body - partly because Toad and I actually managed to play a bit of catch up on our birth classes during nap time - and partly because Toad was kind enough to lotion me after my shower and give me a light massage. Swoon. It was lovely and soooooo relaxing.

So, now I give you pictures!

How Turtle-Love put himself to sleep :: How he was positioned when I was leaving for work
When going to sleep he insisted he sleep with one of his matchbox cars. It was in the bed next to him when he went to sleep, I moved it over to the edge of his bed where he wanted his goggles to be. Note the bean bag is still there... lol

And me! This is a picture I took for you all yesterday. Facebook hasn't been letting me upload photos lately -_- so I'll just stick this right here.

The Big Boy Bed Adventures: Night 1

In case you guys didn't know, we are avid co-sleepers, bed sharers, family bed style people.
We did not start off this way.

I grew up in a family bed. My mom had a crib for me and my little sister, but neither of us ever slept in it. Maybe she (my sister) did a time or two for a nap, but not so much. As we got bigger we also got our own beds in our own room (we shared a room in those early years) and we were free to travel between them. We were still living in that house when I started Kindergarden, but I couldn't for the life of me tell you where I slept most nights. I remember braiding my own very long hair in my bedroom, and playing in my bedroom. I remember my mom snuggling my little sister on our couch taking a nap while I camped out behind the crooks of her knees and watched TV, or dozed leaned on her butt. Or my sister sleeping near by, and not in Mom's arms, while Mom napped on the couch and I hung out in the space behind her knees warm and cozy. My mom worked nights while my dad worked days so they didn't have to try and afford a sitter too very often, so Mom's day sleep was vital to her sanity I'm sure. She tells me I was always excellent as a small child and very helpful with my baby sister (we are two years apart, almost to the day). We have tons of pictures of us sleeping in Mom and Dad's bed when we were little. We moved the summer I turned 6, and when we moved we moved in to a much larger house. Both of my sisters (I have an older half sister who mostly spent the weekends with us) and I got our own rooms. I remember sleeping in my own bed, and sleeping in the family bed. Especially if we were sick, but even if we were just lonely, or hadn't cleaned off our beds to be able to sleep on them - we were welcomed into the family bed. Even now, as an adult, one of the most comforting places I can find in our house is my mother's bed. She doesn't have to be in it of course, but her sheets are always warmer and her pillows are always softer. I haven't slept in my mother's bed in many many years - after all I am 26 years old and married - but that place of safety and comfort is engrained deeply in me. It doesn't matter that her bed is actually a couch now (it is more comfortable and convenient for her) or that we have moved several times and her bedroom isn't what I remember. The atmosphere in general is completely different. However, on those really tough days - those high stress days - I know what my mother is going to recommend to me. Hugs, a shoulder to cry on, and relaxing in her bed while I regroup. Oh man, does it work Every. Single. Time. The perks of co-inhabiting with your mother ;-) (PS writing that and reading it back to myself totally makes me cry. Stupid hormones...)

Slightly off topic but not really. My bad on that. Anyhow - so I obviously grew up with co-sleeping. That was the point, to stress that it is very normal to me.

When Toad and I found out we were pregnant with Turtle-Love, our first, we of course talked about a thousand or so parenting decisions that had to be made. One that we had decided on quickly was that co-sleeping was not for us. The bed sharing variety anyhow. Before we moved we had set up Turtle-Love's room with his crib and furniture, etc. and a day bed that I would sleep on for at least the first few weeks in his room. (Which, by the way, is a form of co-sleeping). We thought that this way I could get up with the baby, and Toad could still sleep so he could be functional for work. No point in having two sleep deprived parents. My mother tried to convince us we shouldn't spend the money on a crib - but we were very firm in our decision that we would not bed share. We did not want our child in the bed with us. Ohhhhh how things change. Turtle-Love was born early. You all probably know that story by now. He spent his first two weeks sleeping alone in a bassinet in the NICU. Our first night sleeping together, in a family suite in the NICU, he slept alone in his bassinet next to my side of the bed. To my surprise I actually did wake up to every single sound he made, even though I doubted my ability to hear him in my sleep. (After all, I perfected the art of missing my alarm clock over the years) So when we brought him home we planned to put him to sleep in his crib, alone. We had moved though, and his crib was actually in our bedroom. We got home and he just seemed so tiny in his very large crib, I couldn't leave him there. I was really happy a friend had given us a bassinet. I pulled it up close to our bed, and put him to sleep in it. Over the next few nights...

Scratch that just remembered I already wrote this part of the story! Two years ago! You can read it here: We bedshare - do you?

Anyhow... we tried a couple times and a couple different things in that first year of life to transition Turtle-Love into his own sleeping space, but nothing worked. Part of that was probably that we just weren't that committed to it. I didn't mind bedsharing after all, and it meant we actually got sleep. I've come to very much enjoy bedsharing with our son. I love the cuddles, and the snuggles, and having him lay next to me at night while I sing him the moon song, or we read books to the moon. (Our bed is under a sky light). However, in the past month I've woken up numerous times to my husband sleeping on the couch because Turtle-Love kicked him out of the bed. Toad doesn't mind, sometimes he sleeps better on the couch that he can spread out in compared to the measly edge of bed he grips each night with us. A few nights I actually woke up to Turtle-Love whining, and then pushing on Toad with his feet telling him to move, to get out of the bed. While it is actually really funny to witness that and have Toad listen, it was a big sign to us that Turtle-Love is looking for more space. I can't blame him. Our set up is pretty crowded right now. Toad, then Turtle-Love, then me and my pregnant belly, then my pregnancy body pillow. We planned to side car the crib to make more space when Little Bean arrives. With this new realization from Turtle-Love however, we needed to make new plans. Recently, our family also experienced a tragedy that has shaken us to the core, and it has helped us to open our eyes up to things that we have become a bit laxed in - areas we need improvement as all people do over time. So between this and Turtle-Love's obvious need for more space, we decided to put the crib up, converted as a toddler day bed.

We put Turtle-Love's big boy bed off my side of our bed, against the wall. There is maybe 1.5 - 2 feet of space between the edge of his bed and the edge of our bed. We put his bed together Tuesday night, but with having an early morning appointment the next day we didn't want to risk not sleeping and decided to try out the big boy bed for the first time at night last night - mainly because Toad is off today and could be up with him if need be. Turtle-Love has slept on his mattress in the floor for naps a handful of times, but never as a bed off the ground, and never at night. Turtle-Love, and Toad, fell asleep together while cuddling on the couch last night. He hadn't been asleep long when I decided to risk picking him up and moving him to his bed. Turtle-Love, not Toad ;-) On the way to the bedroom he barely woke up, just long enough for me to steal a kiss and he promptly laid down on my shoulder. The transition to his bed went smoothly too and he snuggled right in. I had made his bed up the same way I make ours so the weight would feel familiar - fitted sheet, flat sheet, blanket, comforter, pillow case on his pillow (which is actually super flat and used to be mine, I got it at a birthday party when I was 5). I had Toad move to the bed too, and then I got in bed myself. I decided to leave our light on, but dimmed down. Just in case Turtle-Love woke up so he could see us. I also moved his bean bag chair in front of his bed in case he rolled. I didn't think he would, but didn't want him to just crash to the ground either if he did.

I then laid down in bed myself, facing Turtle-Love and snuggling my body pillow. I got really sad and a little anxious. What if something happened? He seemed so far away. There were no little toes in the backs of my knees. No little fingers on my back. No little wisps of hair tickling me. No leg thrown over my side. No tiny hot breaths on my skin. I tried distracting myself on my phone, which didn't work. I ended up just laying there, watching Turtle-Love sleep for what felt like a really long time before I finally drifted off with tears threatening my eyes the whole time. My baby boy is getting so big!

I woke up in the middle of the night - as most pregnant women do - and Turtle-Love had barely moved. His covers were undisturbed, he had only turned his head the other direction and I could now see his little face. I drifted between awake and asleep from then til it was time to get ready for work. I waited as long as I could, laying in bed, just in case he woke up. I really wanted to be there if he did, but he didn't and I had to leave.

I got a Tango (its a video chat program for smart phones - free!) from Toad a little while ago. Turtle-Love was all smiles and happy voice and in the best mood. He had just woken up about ten minutes before they called. Toad report Turtle-Love walked into the living room looking for him, and when he called out "Daddy?" Toad answered - from the bed - and he quickly climbed in with him, but carrying their matching baseball caps. All smiles. All happy boy.

My baby boy is so big!
Did I mention he didn't even nurse last night? 
No one warns you the hard part of this transition is your own emotions when your baby is ready!

This was just the first night. It went great but I know the following nights might not. It just seems like Turtle-Love is so happy today already. My little guy who isn't so much a morning person lately. My mom even called to tell me how chipper and non-whiney Turtle-Love is this morning for breakfast. ♥

 Toad and Turtle-Love immediately after falling asleep on the couch :: Turtle-Love immediately after being moved to his big boy bed (note the bean bag chair lol) :: Turtle-Love this morning, from where I lay to sleep the last moment before I had to get up for work

A Quickish Update

Alright - a quickish update and then on to THE POST.

I'm 30 weeks (31 by ultrasound) and doing well! My blood pressure is good, Bean's heart rate has been good. No real complaints, nothing major happening. The ultrasound I had a couple weeks ago showed no premature cervical shortening which is awesome. It did, however, show us that Little Bean was breech. She was hanging out yogi style, with at least one heal near her bum, sitting on my right side facing my left. I had an appointment the following Friday, at which her heart beat was found below my belly button (which to me says she is transverse or head down, not breech) but the OB I saw said that if she hadn't turned by 37 weeks we would talk about external versions and then a c-section at 39 weeks. Aaawwweeesssooommmmeeee. NOT.

The day after was a local birth expo which worked out great for us. We found some awesome places to take Turtle-Love for play time, met an acupuncturist, two chiropractors, a doula in training who I happen to know (but didn't know was a doula!), and a bunch of other local resources for families and pregnant women. We also each scored an Under The Nile cloth teething toy for visiting 10 vendors, and my name was drawn during a "Grand Prize Drawing" so I got to pick a prize from the good stuff. I chose a gift bag put together by another local doula, who happened to be the birth class instructor we loved from our last pregnancy. The bag included two Earth Mama Angel Baby gift packs, one set of newborn goodies and one set of pregnant mama goodies, a lavender and flax seed eye pillow for stress relief, two ribbon edged burp rags, and a rice sock. Very sweet and super helpful!

I really liked one of the chiropractors we met. She not only explained to me how my sciatic nerve pain could be telling us that my pelvis is out of alignment likely adding to or even causing the breech issue (and explained it awesomely well I will add) but also offered to work with us on payment if my insurance doesn't cover her office. In fact, her business card actually says "Insurance - Cash - Charity" as payment options. She said there was no reason to let something like money get in the way of helping me with the sciatic pain and hopefully preventing a c-section. So, I now have an appointment with her next week. Also, my doula friend is currently in the process of completing her training and offered her services to us gratis. These are the kind of people I like meeting in the world. Can we please have more of them? Okay, great! We had an official meeting with her at our place yesterday and I'll be contacting her in just a bit to let her know we would love to have her on our "birth team". And before everyone wonders, no it isn't just because her services will not cost us in cash. We actually feel that we connected well with her. And HELLO she actually swayed hubz to team doula and got him on board! Ummm, big score there. I also love the idea that we can help her get the hands on experience she needs for her certification. I actually hope to complete doula certification myself in the nearish future (potentially through where she is - the program sounded pretty awesome) and hope that other people will grant me the same kindness. Plus, the one birth she has already attended as a doula was with my OB's practice and at the hospital we will be going to, which is excellent luck.

We've fallen behind on our birth classes through Birth Boot Camp, but we are determined to catch up! PS - go check them out. Use the buttons up there ^ (see top of post) and over there --> (see side bar next to post). So far we are LOVING these classes. Very informative, hubz is staying focused and learning, and there was a bunch of stuff I didn't really know - or at least didn't know this much about! 

Turtle-Love is doing excellently and enjoys singing, dancing, playing with his matchbox cars, the occasional movie, and generally shocking us with his adorable banter and delighted playfulness. Of course it isn't all peaches, but the good and fun far outweighs the tough and rough spots. He is also addicted to my belly. If he can see any belly skin he has to touch my belly, hold my belly, kiss my belly, poke my belly button and exclaim "Baaayyy Beeee! I kiss baby. Hi baby! Mama baby belly!" Sometimes he tells us he has a baby in his belly too *snicker*. Sure thing kiddo, sure thing. He has also gained an interest in princesses, including dressing up as one, and now owns a pink lady bug shirt with red glitter on it. *shrug* Hey, the kid likes what he likes and we wont stand in the way of that. I think he is rather well rounded :-) I suppose that is what happens when you spend a ton of your time with girls your age but really admire your daddy. ;-)
In other news, the babywearing group a good friend of mine and I are starting up locally is having our first meeting on St. Patrick's Day. So excited! If you are in or near central VA contact me for specifics!

Alright, so that actually wasn't terribly quick was it? Oops. Oh well. On to The Post. Actually. I'm going to write it as a separate post. I'll link it up here when I'm done.

For giggles... a picture of hubz and Turtle-Love the other morning...

My co-sleeping ninja Turtle-Love, and Daddy

Breastfeeding milestone: 2 years

Our little Turtle-Love turned two on the 5th. How on Earth did we become parents to a toddler???? Today, the 10th, now marks our 2 year anniversary of breastfeeding. Go check out the post I wrote in January recapping our first year - stuff about learning to nurse in the NICU, supply issues, supplementing, etc...

Check it out - Our Breastfeeding Journey Thus Far

We have managed to make it through that, and have continued breastfeeding through my first trimester and part of the second thus far with our second child. Last month we had a bit of trouble when the two of us came down with Thrush.  I noticed Turtle-Love wasn't nursing as much then, and has since slowed down to only 2 times a day during the week, and maybe 3 or 4 times on the weekend unless he isn't feeling well which of course means he is attached to my "boo-boos" all dang day. I'm not complaining though! He has continued to nurse and we have now reached our two year mark with success!

Now I'm facing an issue - not a terrible horrible or pressing issue, but an issue none the less.  I asked Turtle-Love yesterday while he was nursing if he was drinking milk from mama's boo-boos. He said no around my breast, and then continued nursing. I thought maybe he was thinking of the kind of milk he gets in his cereal, because he certainly knows the difference. I decided to try and hand express on the other side, but received nothing. This morning in the shower I attempted to hand express again, and again received nothing.

It would seem that at 18 weeks my supply is either non-existent, or nearly non existent. I asked him before bed if he was getting milk from mommy's boo-boos and he said yes, so who knows. I've already proven by my lack of pumping awesome that my bad just does not produce milk for anything other than my child, my hand included. So maybe I still have a very little supply left. I've never been able to feel let down - so I can't really judge that way. So he is either getting very little milk (trying to watch for swallowing on a nursing while hoping and jumping and climbing toddler is not the easiest thing in the world) or he is dry nursing. To be honest, either way I'm not going to wean him. He will still self wean, and stop nursing when he is ready. I am hoping to boost my supply (or re-lactate) in the next few days, as I'd like to keep giving him breastmilk through flu season at the least. I decided to post this on the Unlatched Facebook Page and see what suggestions were offered.

Check out the responses here (link to the post - in case more are added after this is published!)

I was encouraged to see that there were other women dry nursing during their pregnancies, and I will be checking out some lactation recipes without fenugreek for cookies and other goodies. I don't have access to a pump so that isn't and option for us and Turtle-Love as I mentioned only nurses a handful of times a day. I may try eating more oatmeal - and I already eat a fair amount of sticky rice (had some for lunch!) since my family is Asian. We will see how things go.

I don't have a ton of pictures like I did in my January story, because most of them are of him sleeping and nursing :-) So here is one that I took yesterday morning before he officially woke up ♥

We bedshare - do you?

Iwas inspired to write this entry after reading this --> http://moms.today.com/_news/2011/03/07/6212018-mayim-bialik-why-we-let-our-children-sleep-in-our-bed?GT1=43001
Which I found when The Cloth Diaper Whisperer posted it on their Facebook --> http://www.facebook.com/theclothdiaperwhisperer
This was a great article!!

I was raised in a family bed. My little sister and I would sleep in our parents bed when we were little. When I was 6 we moved houses. Sometimes I slept in Mom's bed, sometimes I slept in my own. When I was sick I always slept with mom. I loved the comfort I felt sleeping in my mom's bed. Even if I was home sick from school and I was the only one in bed, I liked my mom's bed because I just always felt better there.

While I was pregnant Toad and I determined that we would definately not bedshare. For us, it was an idea that seemed too dangerous - I couldn't trust him not to roll over and squish our child! And absolutely nothing wakes him up. Well, you know what I mean.

Our son spent his first night in the world with his head under a clear plastic bubble - an oxyhood. He wasn't allowed out of the nursery. We couldn't hold him. It was sad. Know what everyone told me? ..."Enjoy it now, sleeping through the night. Once he comes home you wont get the chance"...  Did people really expect me to sleep through the night? While my son was alone (aside from his nurse) in a bed with a lamp for heat, and machine noise for comfort? Really? The next night he spent at a different hospital, in the NICU. He was now hooked to a CPAP machine instead of under an oxyhood. We still couldn't hold him because he had an umbilical line. He certainly couldn't leave and we couldn't sleep there. He was doing so much better already though, and in the NICU - it was easy to see we were very fortunate by comparison.

A week and some days went by and Cooper got much better. He no longer needed the CPAP, not even a nasal cannula (think old people oxygen tubes). We had started holding him, and Cooper and I had begun I journey breastfeeding. The NICU has a special family room. Since Cooper was no longer on any machine other than monitoring, and he no longer needed the warmer, and we were breastfeeding, we were allowed to room in with him. Finally we could spend the night with our son. They told us not to put him in the bed with us. My response ... "Are you serious? Of course I wont! He is way too little! We've always said bed sharring wasn't for us anyways." At that point Turtle-Love weighed about 5 and a half pounds. That night Turtle-Love spent the night next to us - him in his little hospital bassinet, us in the bed next to him. I was terrified I wouldn't wake up to him. That was pretty much my biggest parenting fear. But, when the time came I woke to every whimper. We spent two nights at the hospital rooming in.

Finally it was time for Turtle-Love to come home! I had a crib, a pack n play with a bassinet, and a moses basket. We also had a pooh bear bassinet I dispised but my best friend gave ti to us for free - they had used it at her MIL's house for thier son. With the pack n play downstairs we decided Turtle-Love would sleep in his moses basket, in the crib. The crib is in our room.

He wouldn't sleep in the moses basket. He fussed, not cried. And I spent every fifteen minutes checking on him because I was afraid he would wiggle himself into the side, which was thick fabric, and suffocate. Finally I reluctantly but him in the bassinet and pulled it next to my side of the bed. He would whimper and whine a bit at first, then slept for five hours. Oh thank heavens!

Soon, that changed. He started waking up every three hours or so. Then wouldn't go back to sleep. One night he woke me up every hour. Then the same thing the next night. That night I figured out nursing while laying on my side. I dozed off like that and immediately moved him to his bassinet when I woke. I scared myself. The next night I caved. He had woken me up everyhour if he didn't cry through that hour. Around 7 am I put him in the bed with me, I scooted all the way into Toad and put Turtle-Love on my other side with the bassinet and my night stand against the side of the bed, and we both fell asleep. The next night after he woke me twice and refused to go back down, I tried the bed again and he was immediately out. We splet that way, but I was still afraid of him being in the bed with us. The next morning we figured out the bassinet I hated actually had a side that came off and tucked under the mattress to become a co-sleeper. We tried that for a few nights, but again it came to the point where in my exhaustion around 6 am I would put him in bed with me. The next night we had plans to be somewhere in the morning and I knew the only way I would get any sleep was to have Turtle-Love in bed with us.

Turtle-Love has slept in our bed ever sense. Every once in a while I tried to put him in our co-sleeping bassinet but he wont sleep there. I stopped fighting it. We live with my mom, and she of course supports the family bed. Not many other people do. Everyone tells me I need to move him before he gets clingy. Blah blah blah. Everyone has their own opinion and that is fine.

I know bedsharring works for us. I know that on average I sleep for five hours straight, wake up to change nurse and pump, and we almost always go right back down for a nap that is between 1 and 3 hours long, longer if I don't have anything to do in the morning. I'm the envy of my mommy frends whos babies are older than Turtle-Love and eat less frequently but still keep them up all night. I know that I love watching him play right before we go to sleep. He lays between us and coos and wiggles and kicks and throws himself around with his arms. He makes faces at me. Then he lets me know he is ready for bed, or sometimes for a snack and then bed. I snuggle him beside me, both of us on our side facing each other. I trade off which side every two nights or so. I keep the bassinet attached to our bed with a roller pillow on the edge between the bed and the bassinet as our bed rail for now. Toad hardly ever moves in his sleep and if he does I wake up. I guess its an instinct because if Turtle-Love is on my otherside Toad can do flips and it wont wake me. I love waking up to him nuzzling his face to my breast looking for food, usually with his hand in his way. Silly little Turtle-Love.

Anyhow - I guess my point was that I appreciate bedsharring, and while I planned not to do it it is working well for us.