Trying to relax

Turtle-Love was born 32 days before his due date.

I have 2 due dates with this kiddo - my due date via my last menstrual cycle (LMP) that the Dr's office si going by - and my due date via first ultrasound that the Ultrasound/Diagnosis center is going by (which is run by the lead Dr at my office).

We all know due dates are estimates. Or, at least we should. But that doesn't keep the majority of us (in my experience) from using them, relying on them, stressing out about them.

According to one due date (via ultrasound) I'm due 5/9 and that means yesterday I was 32 days out til my due date. CUE PANIC

Yesterday morning, despite how much I tried to relax, I was just maxed out in the stress department. It took a good cry, family support, my mother and chocolate. To finally get a good chunk of it out of my system. My little sister and I took off with Turtle-Love to my Dad's for the day. I stopped and got the yarn I needed to work on Little Bean's outfit I'm crocheting on the way out of town. I relaxed inside crocheting before lunch, and after lunch took my crocheting outside to soak up some much needed Vitamin D. My sister kept up with Turtle-Love for me while we were there - along with my Dad and Step-Mom of course - and they all came outside to play while I took in the sunshine. The weather was amazing yesterday. It was great to relax and crochet while listening and peaking at the giggles from my son while he played. I felt immensely better by the time we got home, and spent the rest of the evening relaxing and watching Army Wives on Netflix, while cuddling with Turtle-Love or watching him play with Toad.

According to my other due date (via LMP) I'll be 32 days out on Thursday. I'm referring to this 5 day period as "Doom week". The funny thing is though, I can't figure out what I'm more worried about - if she comes early or if she doesn't. Weird. I know. No one wants their baby to come early. Especially a mother who has already been through having a baby hooked up to machines in the NICU. It is terrifying to see your child that way. At the same time though - I would know what to expect. I could guesstimate at the labor and how it would go. I would know what to expect would happen once she was born. I know how the NICU works. How transferring works. How pumping and sitting at my child's side aching and waiting for it to be safe to hold them works. I know what it is like to have to leave during shift change - and using that time to finally eat more than a snack in the hall way. I know what it is like to feel guilty for sleeping too late and missing morning rounds. Or for not waking up to the alarm to pump in the middle of the night. I know what it is like to admit you are too tired to stay, that it is too late for you to be at your child's bedside anymore and that you have to go home - without them. I know what it is like to call the nurse's station before you go to sleep - before you can sleep - to check on your baby. No one wants that. But at the same time, I don't know what happens past this point. Will she be slightly early? On time? Late? What then? What will labor be like? Can I handle it? Can I birth a full term baby, or at least one that is bigger? How will I feel? Will I really wish her out before she is ready because I cannot imagine that. What is it like to be able to keep your baby with you after birth? Can I handle it? Can I handle these next few weeks and keep up with my 28 month old?? Can I keep up after she is born? It just goes on. I know, logically, that I will adjust. It might take time but I will inevitable be a mother to two children and I will absolutely love it. That doesn't keep me  from being worried about it and a thousand other things.

And so... at 35 weeks today (or 36 weeks on Thursday) I'm a little stressed out. I'm trying really really hard not to be - and just getting past yesterday was one big hurdle. I suspect Thursday may be another. Right now I'm doing okay. I have work to throw my self in to, and crocheting to do. Once this "doom week" passes, I think I'll feel up to tackling the list of things we didn't finish by this time like I had hoped.

Side note: It really sucks to have these nesting urges and be too scared to clean your house because it might cause labor -_- Slightly irrational fear? You bet'cha. Doesn't mean it isn't valid.

The Big Boy Bed Adventures: Night 5

We have been putting Turtle-Love in his own bed for the past five nights. Errr, well okay actually night 4 no one slept in a bed. We all fell asleep in the living room after a very very busy and enjoyable Easter Day. I happened to wake up just in time to get around for work Monday morning, thank goodness. Toad put Turtle-Love in bed with him since it was already morning. I'm not sure how much longer they slept but I'm sure it wasn't too long. So... the past 4 of 5 nights Turtle-Love has been put in his bed. As well as spending nap time in his bed rather than the couch.

It has been going great! His naps are slightly shorter than if I were to hold him, of course. If I hold him while he naps he will sleep for hours. On the couch, he sleeps 1-2 hours, and in his bed he has also been sleeping 1-2 hours. Yesterday his nap time was a little shorter than it could have been, as he woke himself up when his diaper leaked. (He was in a disposable by the way, just throwing that out there...) So we changed the sheets on his bed and our bed last night. We all got showers so we could enjoy clean sheets with clean bodies. Is that not one of the best feelings ever?? I love it! Turtle-Love and Toad took their shower together, as per the usual. When it was time to take my shower Toad made the beds up with Turtle-Love's help. By the time I got out of the shower, Turtle-Love was asleep, in his bed. Toad then informed me how this happened....

Toad finished making up Turtle-Love's bed while Turtle-Love sat at the foot of our bed, snuggling a fleece sheet and sitting on top of my husband pillow(those chair-like pillows, the kinds with backs and arms...). When Toad finished with Turtle-Love's bed he told Turtle-Love he needed to move so he could make our bed. He suggested Turtle-Love sit in his bed and watch, to which he Turtle-Love agreed. Toad reminded him a minute later it was okay to lay down, Turtle-Love said "Oh" and laid down. He got a little frustrated because he couldn't get the sheets up just right so Toad helped to cover him up, and a minute or so later the kid was out. Just like that.

My big boy! Falling asleep all on his own, in his own bed!

Turtle-Love did wake up last night. He didn't get out of the bed though, he was more half-asleep and fussy. I checked to make sure his diaper hadn't leaked and had Daddy cover him back up (per Turtle-Love's request that "Daddy do it") and then "shhhhhhhhhh"d him back to sleep. That was actually at 6am this morning. He was stirring a little again when I got up for work a bit later. He called out "Mommy? Mommy!" with his eyes shut, like he was just looking for me and couldn't feel me in the bed. I spoke to him and let him know I was right there and he went right back to sleep. When I was leaving for work he was still sleeping just fine, he and his daddy would be waking up about 45 minutes later anyhow.

So - this transition thing so far has been a breeze. I slept incredibly well last night. Partly from the awesomeness that is fresh clean sheets and a clean body - partly because Toad and I actually managed to play a bit of catch up on our birth classes during nap time - and partly because Toad was kind enough to lotion me after my shower and give me a light massage. Swoon. It was lovely and soooooo relaxing.

So, now I give you pictures!

How Turtle-Love put himself to sleep :: How he was positioned when I was leaving for work
When going to sleep he insisted he sleep with one of his matchbox cars. It was in the bed next to him when he went to sleep, I moved it over to the edge of his bed where he wanted his goggles to be. Note the bean bag is still there... lol

And me! This is a picture I took for you all yesterday. Facebook hasn't been letting me upload photos lately -_- so I'll just stick this right here.

The Big Boy Bed Adventures: Night 1

In case you guys didn't know, we are avid co-sleepers, bed sharers, family bed style people.
We did not start off this way.

I grew up in a family bed. My mom had a crib for me and my little sister, but neither of us ever slept in it. Maybe she (my sister) did a time or two for a nap, but not so much. As we got bigger we also got our own beds in our own room (we shared a room in those early years) and we were free to travel between them. We were still living in that house when I started Kindergarden, but I couldn't for the life of me tell you where I slept most nights. I remember braiding my own very long hair in my bedroom, and playing in my bedroom. I remember my mom snuggling my little sister on our couch taking a nap while I camped out behind the crooks of her knees and watched TV, or dozed leaned on her butt. Or my sister sleeping near by, and not in Mom's arms, while Mom napped on the couch and I hung out in the space behind her knees warm and cozy. My mom worked nights while my dad worked days so they didn't have to try and afford a sitter too very often, so Mom's day sleep was vital to her sanity I'm sure. She tells me I was always excellent as a small child and very helpful with my baby sister (we are two years apart, almost to the day). We have tons of pictures of us sleeping in Mom and Dad's bed when we were little. We moved the summer I turned 6, and when we moved we moved in to a much larger house. Both of my sisters (I have an older half sister who mostly spent the weekends with us) and I got our own rooms. I remember sleeping in my own bed, and sleeping in the family bed. Especially if we were sick, but even if we were just lonely, or hadn't cleaned off our beds to be able to sleep on them - we were welcomed into the family bed. Even now, as an adult, one of the most comforting places I can find in our house is my mother's bed. She doesn't have to be in it of course, but her sheets are always warmer and her pillows are always softer. I haven't slept in my mother's bed in many many years - after all I am 26 years old and married - but that place of safety and comfort is engrained deeply in me. It doesn't matter that her bed is actually a couch now (it is more comfortable and convenient for her) or that we have moved several times and her bedroom isn't what I remember. The atmosphere in general is completely different. However, on those really tough days - those high stress days - I know what my mother is going to recommend to me. Hugs, a shoulder to cry on, and relaxing in her bed while I regroup. Oh man, does it work Every. Single. Time. The perks of co-inhabiting with your mother ;-) (PS writing that and reading it back to myself totally makes me cry. Stupid hormones...)

Slightly off topic but not really. My bad on that. Anyhow - so I obviously grew up with co-sleeping. That was the point, to stress that it is very normal to me.

When Toad and I found out we were pregnant with Turtle-Love, our first, we of course talked about a thousand or so parenting decisions that had to be made. One that we had decided on quickly was that co-sleeping was not for us. The bed sharing variety anyhow. Before we moved we had set up Turtle-Love's room with his crib and furniture, etc. and a day bed that I would sleep on for at least the first few weeks in his room. (Which, by the way, is a form of co-sleeping). We thought that this way I could get up with the baby, and Toad could still sleep so he could be functional for work. No point in having two sleep deprived parents. My mother tried to convince us we shouldn't spend the money on a crib - but we were very firm in our decision that we would not bed share. We did not want our child in the bed with us. Ohhhhh how things change. Turtle-Love was born early. You all probably know that story by now. He spent his first two weeks sleeping alone in a bassinet in the NICU. Our first night sleeping together, in a family suite in the NICU, he slept alone in his bassinet next to my side of the bed. To my surprise I actually did wake up to every single sound he made, even though I doubted my ability to hear him in my sleep. (After all, I perfected the art of missing my alarm clock over the years) So when we brought him home we planned to put him to sleep in his crib, alone. We had moved though, and his crib was actually in our bedroom. We got home and he just seemed so tiny in his very large crib, I couldn't leave him there. I was really happy a friend had given us a bassinet. I pulled it up close to our bed, and put him to sleep in it. Over the next few nights...

Scratch that just remembered I already wrote this part of the story! Two years ago! You can read it here: We bedshare - do you?

Anyhow... we tried a couple times and a couple different things in that first year of life to transition Turtle-Love into his own sleeping space, but nothing worked. Part of that was probably that we just weren't that committed to it. I didn't mind bedsharing after all, and it meant we actually got sleep. I've come to very much enjoy bedsharing with our son. I love the cuddles, and the snuggles, and having him lay next to me at night while I sing him the moon song, or we read books to the moon. (Our bed is under a sky light). However, in the past month I've woken up numerous times to my husband sleeping on the couch because Turtle-Love kicked him out of the bed. Toad doesn't mind, sometimes he sleeps better on the couch that he can spread out in compared to the measly edge of bed he grips each night with us. A few nights I actually woke up to Turtle-Love whining, and then pushing on Toad with his feet telling him to move, to get out of the bed. While it is actually really funny to witness that and have Toad listen, it was a big sign to us that Turtle-Love is looking for more space. I can't blame him. Our set up is pretty crowded right now. Toad, then Turtle-Love, then me and my pregnant belly, then my pregnancy body pillow. We planned to side car the crib to make more space when Little Bean arrives. With this new realization from Turtle-Love however, we needed to make new plans. Recently, our family also experienced a tragedy that has shaken us to the core, and it has helped us to open our eyes up to things that we have become a bit laxed in - areas we need improvement as all people do over time. So between this and Turtle-Love's obvious need for more space, we decided to put the crib up, converted as a toddler day bed.

We put Turtle-Love's big boy bed off my side of our bed, against the wall. There is maybe 1.5 - 2 feet of space between the edge of his bed and the edge of our bed. We put his bed together Tuesday night, but with having an early morning appointment the next day we didn't want to risk not sleeping and decided to try out the big boy bed for the first time at night last night - mainly because Toad is off today and could be up with him if need be. Turtle-Love has slept on his mattress in the floor for naps a handful of times, but never as a bed off the ground, and never at night. Turtle-Love, and Toad, fell asleep together while cuddling on the couch last night. He hadn't been asleep long when I decided to risk picking him up and moving him to his bed. Turtle-Love, not Toad ;-) On the way to the bedroom he barely woke up, just long enough for me to steal a kiss and he promptly laid down on my shoulder. The transition to his bed went smoothly too and he snuggled right in. I had made his bed up the same way I make ours so the weight would feel familiar - fitted sheet, flat sheet, blanket, comforter, pillow case on his pillow (which is actually super flat and used to be mine, I got it at a birthday party when I was 5). I had Toad move to the bed too, and then I got in bed myself. I decided to leave our light on, but dimmed down. Just in case Turtle-Love woke up so he could see us. I also moved his bean bag chair in front of his bed in case he rolled. I didn't think he would, but didn't want him to just crash to the ground either if he did.

I then laid down in bed myself, facing Turtle-Love and snuggling my body pillow. I got really sad and a little anxious. What if something happened? He seemed so far away. There were no little toes in the backs of my knees. No little fingers on my back. No little wisps of hair tickling me. No leg thrown over my side. No tiny hot breaths on my skin. I tried distracting myself on my phone, which didn't work. I ended up just laying there, watching Turtle-Love sleep for what felt like a really long time before I finally drifted off with tears threatening my eyes the whole time. My baby boy is getting so big!

I woke up in the middle of the night - as most pregnant women do - and Turtle-Love had barely moved. His covers were undisturbed, he had only turned his head the other direction and I could now see his little face. I drifted between awake and asleep from then til it was time to get ready for work. I waited as long as I could, laying in bed, just in case he woke up. I really wanted to be there if he did, but he didn't and I had to leave.

I got a Tango (its a video chat program for smart phones - free!) from Toad a little while ago. Turtle-Love was all smiles and happy voice and in the best mood. He had just woken up about ten minutes before they called. Toad report Turtle-Love walked into the living room looking for him, and when he called out "Daddy?" Toad answered - from the bed - and he quickly climbed in with him, but carrying their matching baseball caps. All smiles. All happy boy.

My baby boy is so big!
Did I mention he didn't even nurse last night? 
No one warns you the hard part of this transition is your own emotions when your baby is ready!

This was just the first night. It went great but I know the following nights might not. It just seems like Turtle-Love is so happy today already. My little guy who isn't so much a morning person lately. My mom even called to tell me how chipper and non-whiney Turtle-Love is this morning for breakfast. ♥

 Toad and Turtle-Love immediately after falling asleep on the couch :: Turtle-Love immediately after being moved to his big boy bed (note the bean bag chair lol) :: Turtle-Love this morning, from where I lay to sleep the last moment before I had to get up for work

Gender Reveal + Party details

Hey guys!

So my sisters threw us a big Gender Reveal Party, and it was great. We thought it would be a great idea to have a gender reveal party, mostly because it looked like fun and I like parties! Also because my little sister is apparently a stickler for tradition and thinks you shouldn't have baby showers for your second baby - unless it is a different sex from your first child or there is a significant age gap. -_- Meh. I say parties for all! Buuut, just in case we were having a boy I didn't want my baby to get skipped on the festivites and celebrations... so a gender reveal party was the most awesome idea ever.

Here are the details::

My little sister threw this together after what I'm sure amounted to more than several inspiration hours on sites like Pinterest and Etsy. Oh, we are BIG Pinterest and Etsy fans over here folks, just so you know. Isn't this adorable?! I'm not the biggest supporter of traditional gender roles and colors etc. However, I agreed with her that somethings are better to conform to society with for the sake of the party. Woot for her decision to go with a blue and pink that aren't so pastel-y baby-licious ♥

Aside from deciding I liked the mustache vs bow idea, my older sister wanted to keep nearly everything else about the party a secret. So I didn't get to see anything or know anything about the party! We didn't even get to find out the sex at our ultrasound, only my older sister did! I have to admit, it made things pretty exciting :-)

Anyhow - let's dive into the party details! NOTE: These pictures were taken with a not-so-awesome camera phone. I'm still waiting to find out if anyone else at the party got better shots but these will do for sharing. I'm impatient and didn't want to wait any longer to tell you all!

When the guests walked in they were faced with a choice: If they thought I was having a boy they chose a mustache, and is they thought I was having a girl they chose a bow. They also had to write their names on the board so we could keep score, of course. Also on the table were tiny wooden clothes pins for the "Don't say baby" game, booklets full of the other games to play, as well as pens. PS: The containers the booklets and pens are in are definitely little claw foot bathtubs. Cute!

It is hard to see, but there were more people on Team Bow than Team Mustache. The hubz and I grabbed one of each, he a bow and I a mustache, just for the heck of it. I wasn't telling anyone what my motherly intuition told me. At least, not at the party ;-)

One of the games we played had everyone write down up to three old wives tales about gender prediction. Some of them included baby's heart rate, activity level, the one about having your "beauty stolen", being sick all the time, the wedding ring suspended over your belly button bit, and the list goes on. Finally tally was 7 Mustache, and 6 Bow.

Other games included the one pictured above, Name That 'Stache! (or lips) where you had to name the celebrity the 'stache or lips belonged to; a bottle chugging contest, celebrity baby name match up (match the baby's name to the celebrity parent), three separate diaper games - The first blind folded with flat cloth diapers and diaper pins, five women (actually 3 women 1 preteen girl and an honorary dad) had to put the diaper on a balloon without popping it, while blind folded. The second blind folded with disposable diapers and baby dolls, for the men (actually 4 men and 1 preteen boy) to compete with. The third was that game where you melt different chocolate bars into a diaper and everyone has to guess "what baby ate". I think that was all of the games, but I may be missing one or two.

My older sister made these "Baby Game Trophies" for the game winners to receive along with their winning prize. They were pretty dang cute actually, and made me giggle.

Of course no party is complete without food! Here is the spread, pre aditional pinwheel wraps, veggie tray, fruit tray, and chocolate dip.The table was split into to sides...

"Snips and snails and puppy dog tails, that's what little boys are made of"
On the boy's side we had pinwheel wraps to represent the snails portion. Chicken salad with apple, plain chicken salad, and this chicken taco style one? It has chicken, cream cheese, and taco seasoning in it. All delicious. We also had pigs in a blanket - or hot dogs rolled in crescent roll like bread for the puppy dog tails bit. Note the more masculine food stands -> cake stands my little sister made for my bridal shower last September out of ceramic plates and candlesticks.

 "Sugar and spice and all things nice, that's what little girls are made of"
On the girl's side we had powdered sugar donuts, of course for the sugar portion, and Boston Cream Pie cupcakes made by yours truly (me) for the all things nice bit. Chocolate, cake..... what isn't nice about that?! Note the more decadent and feminine food stands on this side, something my older sister had on hand from previous functions.

Of course in the center was the drinks. Water and punch, complete with striped straws, green on the boys side and purple on the girls. (Two of my favorite colors!)

 

The water bottles were covered in duck tape - lips for girls and mustaches for boys. Cute!

 

Party favors were also provided, sets of magnets my little sister made. Everyone got a bow and a mustache magnet, and they are freaking adorable.

After fun, games, socializing, and delicious food and cake there was only one thing left to do....
This is the box my older sister and her boyfriend built for the occasion. She filled it with balloons and had it placed at the top of our stairs....

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Are you ready?!

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We are having a little girl!!!

The hubz and I are both very excited! In fact, nearly everyone is excited. We keep hearing how we are "so lucky to get one of each" etc. etc. .... it is great to feel all the excitement from everyone. Of course, our biggest thing isn't the sex of our child... we are just hoping for a full term, healthy, baby.

But you know adorably cute tiny dresses don't hurt.....

Breastfeeding milestone: 2 years

Our little Turtle-Love turned two on the 5th. How on Earth did we become parents to a toddler???? Today, the 10th, now marks our 2 year anniversary of breastfeeding. Go check out the post I wrote in January recapping our first year - stuff about learning to nurse in the NICU, supply issues, supplementing, etc...

Check it out - Our Breastfeeding Journey Thus Far

We have managed to make it through that, and have continued breastfeeding through my first trimester and part of the second thus far with our second child. Last month we had a bit of trouble when the two of us came down with Thrush.  I noticed Turtle-Love wasn't nursing as much then, and has since slowed down to only 2 times a day during the week, and maybe 3 or 4 times on the weekend unless he isn't feeling well which of course means he is attached to my "boo-boos" all dang day. I'm not complaining though! He has continued to nurse and we have now reached our two year mark with success!

Now I'm facing an issue - not a terrible horrible or pressing issue, but an issue none the less.  I asked Turtle-Love yesterday while he was nursing if he was drinking milk from mama's boo-boos. He said no around my breast, and then continued nursing. I thought maybe he was thinking of the kind of milk he gets in his cereal, because he certainly knows the difference. I decided to try and hand express on the other side, but received nothing. This morning in the shower I attempted to hand express again, and again received nothing.

It would seem that at 18 weeks my supply is either non-existent, or nearly non existent. I asked him before bed if he was getting milk from mommy's boo-boos and he said yes, so who knows. I've already proven by my lack of pumping awesome that my bad just does not produce milk for anything other than my child, my hand included. So maybe I still have a very little supply left. I've never been able to feel let down - so I can't really judge that way. So he is either getting very little milk (trying to watch for swallowing on a nursing while hoping and jumping and climbing toddler is not the easiest thing in the world) or he is dry nursing. To be honest, either way I'm not going to wean him. He will still self wean, and stop nursing when he is ready. I am hoping to boost my supply (or re-lactate) in the next few days, as I'd like to keep giving him breastmilk through flu season at the least. I decided to post this on the Unlatched Facebook Page and see what suggestions were offered.

Check out the responses here (link to the post - in case more are added after this is published!)

I was encouraged to see that there were other women dry nursing during their pregnancies, and I will be checking out some lactation recipes without fenugreek for cookies and other goodies. I don't have access to a pump so that isn't and option for us and Turtle-Love as I mentioned only nurses a handful of times a day. I may try eating more oatmeal - and I already eat a fair amount of sticky rice (had some for lunch!) since my family is Asian. We will see how things go.

I don't have a ton of pictures like I did in my January story, because most of them are of him sleeping and nursing :-) So here is one that I took yesterday morning before he officially woke up ♥

Neglecting my duties

I've been neglecting my blog =/ I apologize. *sigh* It seems life always gets in the way of my good intentions.

What to update on? Lets see....

Turtle-Love is doing well. We are introducing one new food a week. He has had rice cereal, peas, avocados, and sweet potatoes. We will be trying out carrots next. I've made his baby food twice (avocados and sweet potatoes) and it went well enough with my mini food processor. I put the food in the snappi containers the hospital sent us home with to pump milk into. I'm afraid to use them for milk because I watched a girl drop one in the NICU and the top popped open and the milk went everywhere. I'll stick to screw on lids, thanks.

Turtle-Love is gliding across the kitchen floor in his walker and thoroughly enjoys it. He has gotten a bit tired of the jumper at the moment, but has finally figured out how to make the piano play on his own (with his elbow). We've recently realized he needs new, more age appropriate, toys - all of our toys are for around 3 months. Turtle-Love is around7 1/2 months now - its time for an upgrade. We are looking for good deals and while I'd rather go with all wooden toys the fact of the matter is Turtle-Love gets very excited about the ones that make noise and light up (of course) and wooden toys are pretty pricey (of course) so I'm hoping for a healthy mix.

My milk supply has either increased, or I've become more efficient at pumping. I switched to pumping every three hours at work per the lactation consultant's suggestion, which works out okay. Either way - I'm no longer worried or anxious that he isn't getting enough. I bought my firrst nursing top yesterday. It was cute - only $27 (only?! uhhhh, that is a lot of money for a shirt!) which is great compared to some others I have seen. It even has a bit of my personality to it - a little punkish if you will. I've gone 7 months without a nursing shirt, I should be able to go through the end of nursing without one but I'm tired of layering in the summer! The heat index has been in the 110's!

I've also started weight watchers. Toad has too - we both have a wedding to look nice for. Also, we generally need to be in better shape and have better eating habits if we are ever going to expect Turtle-Love to eat healthfully. So far so good, I feel good knowing I'm not just eating junk, and I've been trying new veggies and cooking too. Yum!

We found a great deal on suits for the guys for the wedding. Our wedding isn't a super formal occasion, but it isn't a jeans kind of affair either. The guys will be wearing three piece suits - which Toad happens to look amazing in. I'm very excited. I think I've made a decision about the bridesmaids shoes - but it isn't 100% yet. I'm pretty indecisive, it's myself proclaimed worst attribute. Anyhow, if my decision holds there will be many shocked, and possibly disappointed people. *shrug* I haven't decided, I know the day is about what WE want, and this is what Toad wants. I'm just having trouble with it.

Turtle-Love's baptism is in 2 1/2 weeks. I'm very excited! We've received his gown and are on the hunt for shoes that he might wear with it. If not, oh well. We have our baptismal prep class this Saturday, and then we will need to start making his candle as well. Invitations have gone out but I haven't heard from many people. I hope there is a decent turn out - this is an important event to us and we would like to share it with as many people as they are willing.


Mama MoMo and I are still working on getting our little cloth diaper project running. we have had some great ideas but there is more to be discussed. Hopefully this weekend - after the baptismal prep class - I'll get to sit with her and chat. I missed last Saturday at the Snap, which always sucks to miss because I look forward to it so much all week.

Speaking of cloth diapers, Turtle-Love is outgrowing some of his. We have 5 fitteds that are approaching too snug, and two Lil' Joeys that he has out grown. We have a size small BottomBumpers that the rise is getting low on too, even though the waist is of course fine - my little bean stalk, lol. Toad and I are discussing the possibility of purchasing a few more diapers to replace them in our stash - the number we have in rotation now is fine while we still have disposables for laundry day but we have decided once we have used them all (soon) we will be full time in cloth so we will need an extra days worth of diapers at least. I would love to get a hold of some itti bittis, more AppleCheeks, and a few other diapers I've been eying for a while now. It is just a matter of making the financial commitment. I'm trying to get away from microfiber though. It seems they always produce an oder, even a minute one. I've "rocked a soak" a few times (actually I try to soak over night every other wash) but maybe I should use some funk rock or strip them. There is a woman here local that makes inserts from zorb that I'm like to try. Again, these things require financial commitments and we are already tight. We can make do without the extra diapers I think - but I'm not sure I want to try. I'll have to overview our budget and see what we need to do. It is just so hard to resist buying the adorable diapers!!!

Updating on turtle-love & wedding stuff!

It has been a while since my last post. Uhh. I apologize, it seems my head is all over the place these days.

Turtle-Love

My baby is 6 months old! Actually, he is now 6 1/2 months old =/ On the 14th he weighed in at 12 pounds 1 ounce, and 24 1/2 inches tall. The doctor was pleased with his weight gain, and said he is hitting all the milestones expected of him - sitting up on his own for a few minutes, pushing up onto his hands from his tummy, bearing weight on his legs... etc. We got the okay to start solids too =)

Turtle-Love's first food was rice cereal. We did that for a week, and last night gave him peas. He loved them! He is also getting better with his sippy cup, though he only holds it on his own sometimes. He does try to feed himself with the spoon constantly and does an okay job =) We put water in his sippy cup btw.

Turtle-Love recently acquired a walker and a jumparoo from my cousin. He LOVES them! He hasn't quite figured out jumping yet, but he loves to chew on the teething sunshine and has just learned to push the buttons on the piano, though possibly on accident most times. The jumparoo has all kinda of goodies for him to play with that he loves. The walker has a tray with animals that make noise on it - and he loves them! He instantly lunged for the lion on the tray that says "RAAR!" when you hit him and he likes to chew on his fabric mane =) The other day he learned to actually walk in the walker and now you have to watch your toes in the kitchen (where the walker stays because its not carpet). He even got stuck on the fridge and wiggled free =)

Turtle-Love has also figured out reaching for people to pick him up, and readily identifies different faces and voices. We recently got the Baby Signing Time Sign and Read edition (my soon to be MIL agreed to chip in for it, along with a good friend of mine) from Baby Steals and we plan to start that in the next couple days. I've already been signing the alphabet to him when we sing it, and I sign milk and mommy and daddy when I recall to - or have my hands free.

Turtle-Love will be getting baptized (I'm Catholic) on July 30th. We've ordered the invitations and his gown and received both. After the 1st on the month I'll mail the invitations. I'm worried his gown will still be too big =/ We will see I guess.

On the wedding front...

I love that I'm getting married. And I'm doing my best to plan, and pay for, a wedding that we actually want. Of course, this would be much easier if our money wasn't already so tight. I'm also starting to resent our wedding because if I didn't have to pay for our wedding, I could quit my job and stay home with Turtle-Love - because we live with my mother. Now that I'm back in the office, living with my mother longer and staying home with my son is sounding more awesome than us buying a house. Anyhow, I've gotten off track.

I'm still trying to get an officiant, and we are still working on centerpiece ideas and I'm talking to a few florists for bouquets. Of course - trying to go with the most cost effective solution. I had thought I could make the bridesmaids bouquets and the groomsmen's boutonnieres but the reality is I don't have the fridge space, and will most likely not have the time to make them. I may still do the boutonnieres, they are fairly simple. Maybe I'll do fake flowers so I can make them all. I'm still not certain.I do know I'll be purchasing my bouquet, and it will be real. Is that selfish? I feel like it might be selfish... *sigh*

I'm also looking into bakers. I do NOT want to bake my own wedding cake, and I would prefer if my sister and mother did not have to either. Not to mention, I've only done a 2 tiered cake before which went well enough, and a mini three tier that was a bit wobbly.

Oops, gotta go get back to work. Hopefully I can remember to post again tomorrow!

Crazy busy + 4 months old... really?!

I apologize for not writing very often. Between planning the wedding and school work, on top of my normal routines with work and Turtle-Love, my schedule has just been packed with things to get done. I finally have a moment of time where I can collect my thoughts!

The wedding date is official! We signed the contract and paid the deposit for our venue... October 15th, 2011 here we come! Some decisions have been made with the help of my birdesmaids, mainly my maid of honor aka my little sister, and of course Toad. We have chosen our favors, centerpieces, and have an idea for the guestbook. I'm still trying to figure out other decorations, flowers, the menu, all the paper products... well pretty much everything else lol.

Turtle-Love! Oh man... he is 4 months old today! I weighed him this morning (we have a baby scale) and he was 9lbs 7oz! He is getting so big, only 3 or so of his newborn outfits fit him, and he is filling out some of his 0-3 stuff really well. He is kicking and reaching and is becoming interested in his toys. He loves his links! He eats all the time and enjoys sucking on his fists, my arm, gramma's shoulder... He is a super drooley boy these days, I'm convinced he has started the teething process! He is officiaally out of newborn sposies btw... on to size 1's for night-time and when Auntie has him. She refuses to retain the information about cloth diapers yet. I'll get her though... she will be here this Thursday and I think is going to watch him while I'm in RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) class.

Have I mentioned I'm in "church school" too? I'm taking RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) classes so I can be confirmed. I was raised in the Catholic church as a child, but I was never confirmed. I'm taking classes now for adult confirmation. We are scheduling Turtle-Love to be baptised in July.

This past Saturday Toad and I went on our first "date" since we had Turtle-Love. He took me to see Cirque du Soleil!! Ahhh! Dream come true! I've always wanted to see Cirque du Soleil! I love them! And the show was AMAZING. It was Allegria, ah it was just so wonderful! Toad even bought me a t-shirt and then we went to dinner. The date night was a lot of fun, but I missed my little Turtle-Love a ton.... and so did my boobs... hah! I was excited I had pumped enough for one feeding and it was in the freezer for this occasion - he took 4 ounces!

I stopped pumping about 2 weeks ago. I just felt like I needed a break from all the worry of it. I pumped Saturday when we got home because I was engorged and Turtle-Love only ate off one side before he was full. I managed to pump 2 ounces out of my "bad" side! Woo! That is a record for me lol. I'm going to try to start pumping in the mornings again once we get our morning schedule back on track. I like having a few feedings in the freezer for just in case. Now that he eats 4oz instead of 2 it is going to take me a while to stock up.

School is going well. I'm going to take it easy with school until after the wedding and Turtle-Love's first birthday.  Sure. I could keep going and hit school hardcore. I'm plenty capable. But I wouldn't enjoy it. I really like school. I want to enjoy my education. I also want to enjoy planning my wedding and all Turtle-Love's firsts. So, I haven't decided what I'm doing with school for the summer semester, but I'm not going to take classes this fall I think. Maybe I will, but as of right now I don't think so.

Well, I've got an hour left of work and then I think Turtle-Love and I will go enjoy his birthday =)

My child is getting BIG... I'm not a bad mom!

So.... remember last week for the review when Turtle-Love was 8lbs 14 oz?

Guess who is 9 pounds 4.5 ounces?! Oh yeah Turtle-Love!!!!!

He had finally grown in to his larger newborn stuff and smaller 0-3 stuff... now he is filling out all  the newborn stuff! Soon I'll be packing it away... *sigh*

And now...
Just a little rant.....

I brought my son into my office today. Wait - rewind.

I work from home for the same company I worked in-office for pre-birth. Today, my neighborhood is being paved so we cannot park our cars at our homes, and I have no way to get Turtle-Love to our house from our temporary parking area because we do not have an alterain stroller, and his car seat and other stuff are simply too big for my short self to carry that distance. At least, not willingly =P So - I decided to pack up my work things, and my Turtle-Love, and go to the office for the day!

We arrive at the office, and I go the long way around to my office so that the girls I work with have their chance to ooggle him. One woman actually said to me that she didn't know much at all about babies but that certainly he should be heavier than 9 pounds by 4 months. *eye roll* I said probably but he is a preemie so we've come a decent way [he was 5lbs 12oz at birth - actually big for his gestation(35wks) the doc was plesantly surprised]... this woman proceeded to get in his face when I set his car seat down, and tried to touch his face! Nuuuuhhhh! Dirty hands! She made a joke that she felt she should offer him her finger because she is used to meeting dogs... har har, not! Sorry but joking about putting your strange dirty finger in my childs mouth isn't very funny to me... maybe I've lost my sense of humor durring the birth process or somewhere along the way.... but I kinda doubt it. Either way. No thanks, see you later, a-buh-bye.

yeesh