Crazy busy + 4 months old... really?!

I apologize for not writing very often. Between planning the wedding and school work, on top of my normal routines with work and Turtle-Love, my schedule has just been packed with things to get done. I finally have a moment of time where I can collect my thoughts!

The wedding date is official! We signed the contract and paid the deposit for our venue... October 15th, 2011 here we come! Some decisions have been made with the help of my birdesmaids, mainly my maid of honor aka my little sister, and of course Toad. We have chosen our favors, centerpieces, and have an idea for the guestbook. I'm still trying to figure out other decorations, flowers, the menu, all the paper products... well pretty much everything else lol.

Turtle-Love! Oh man... he is 4 months old today! I weighed him this morning (we have a baby scale) and he was 9lbs 7oz! He is getting so big, only 3 or so of his newborn outfits fit him, and he is filling out some of his 0-3 stuff really well. He is kicking and reaching and is becoming interested in his toys. He loves his links! He eats all the time and enjoys sucking on his fists, my arm, gramma's shoulder... He is a super drooley boy these days, I'm convinced he has started the teething process! He is officiaally out of newborn sposies btw... on to size 1's for night-time and when Auntie has him. She refuses to retain the information about cloth diapers yet. I'll get her though... she will be here this Thursday and I think is going to watch him while I'm in RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) class.

Have I mentioned I'm in "church school" too? I'm taking RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults) classes so I can be confirmed. I was raised in the Catholic church as a child, but I was never confirmed. I'm taking classes now for adult confirmation. We are scheduling Turtle-Love to be baptised in July.

This past Saturday Toad and I went on our first "date" since we had Turtle-Love. He took me to see Cirque du Soleil!! Ahhh! Dream come true! I've always wanted to see Cirque du Soleil! I love them! And the show was AMAZING. It was Allegria, ah it was just so wonderful! Toad even bought me a t-shirt and then we went to dinner. The date night was a lot of fun, but I missed my little Turtle-Love a ton.... and so did my boobs... hah! I was excited I had pumped enough for one feeding and it was in the freezer for this occasion - he took 4 ounces!

I stopped pumping about 2 weeks ago. I just felt like I needed a break from all the worry of it. I pumped Saturday when we got home because I was engorged and Turtle-Love only ate off one side before he was full. I managed to pump 2 ounces out of my "bad" side! Woo! That is a record for me lol. I'm going to try to start pumping in the mornings again once we get our morning schedule back on track. I like having a few feedings in the freezer for just in case. Now that he eats 4oz instead of 2 it is going to take me a while to stock up.

School is going well. I'm going to take it easy with school until after the wedding and Turtle-Love's first birthday.  Sure. I could keep going and hit school hardcore. I'm plenty capable. But I wouldn't enjoy it. I really like school. I want to enjoy my education. I also want to enjoy planning my wedding and all Turtle-Love's firsts. So, I haven't decided what I'm doing with school for the summer semester, but I'm not going to take classes this fall I think. Maybe I will, but as of right now I don't think so.

Well, I've got an hour left of work and then I think Turtle-Love and I will go enjoy his birthday =)

WAHM and student... reconsidering?

As a mom (or dad) do you ever feel like all you want to do is be home with your child? If you could just work from home, go to school from home. Life would be perfect.

That is what I thought.

Except now, working from home is really hard. Between nursing, changing, supplement feeding, soothing, and otherwise carring for Turtle-Love I also have to walk the dog, remember to feed myself, find time to go to the bathroom, oh yeah - and work. Answering emails one handed is difficult but do-able. Often by the time I have an answer typed one of my coworkers has already responded. Answering customer phone calls is really difficult when your child spends 80% of your work hours 3 of those 5 days being very vocal. I know, I know. Be thankful. Thankful that my company is allowing me to work from home at all. That I am able to have the opportunity to spend the whole day with my son and still have a steady income. I am! I am very greatful for the company I work for!

In addition to working 30 hours a week from home, I also take three classes online. I signed up for online classes so I would be able to be home with my son but still work towards a degree of some sort. Further my education. I specifially chose classes I thought would be low maintenance or atleast some what easy since I knew I would have a new baby during the semester. Web Design - pretty much how I pictured it. Child Health & Nutrition - great and I'm learning a ton of very useful information! Art Appreciation - I should have known better. The assignments are much more spread out compared to my other two classes, but they are also papers. Written papers. They are easy by comparisson to most college papers! I'm currently working on a four page paper for my midterm. Yep, thats it. Four pages is a midterm. But uh, I'm having trouble with it.

My head is elsewhere I guess. I used to be great at writting papers, even if I couldn't even begin to comprehend the topic I could still write a darn good paper about it! But now, I don't know. I guess I just have too much else to think about. I can't get my head on track with this topic, and its due by noon tomorrow. Along with a test I need to study for for web design. *sigh*

In my dream world - I open a local daycare. Just something small with a friend. We would cloth diaper and babywear the children and it would be great! We actually have brainstormed it and we have a few innovative ideas that I wont talk about here because, well because we actually hope to do it! Now - to be honest I love children but now that I have my own child I really don't like the idea of dividing my attention from him every day. Once in a while sure of course, I love to baby sit for my friends. But everyday? I don't think I could. I'd love to just tell someone my ideas and kind of run the daycare behind the scenes. Set the parameters or something. In my other dream world - I stay home and make cloth diapers and wet bags and nursing covers =) I'm decent with a sewing machine just need some brushing up.

So anyhow - all of this has me thinking if I really want to try to go to school right now. After some thought I've decided that bewteen Turtle-Love being born, planning our wedding, preparing for my confirmation and Turtle-Love's baptism, working, and trying to keep the house straight - maybe school is just a little too much. I mean, I would love to be the girl who did it all, all at once. But maybe - maybe I need to take time to breathe? Turtle-Love will only be this little for a little while. Maybe I'll take a break until January. Turtle-Love will be one, Toad and I will be married, and I'll have gotten into a better rhythm being a mom. Maybe by then something will have changed with work - who knows. I know that right now, right now I'm sad I have a paper to write and can't focus on it. I'm sad that I have to type this while I nurse Turtle-Love because if I'm not multi-tasking I'm falling behind.